Tray of cocktails on bar (Digital Vision)

It's misleading to watch fictional characters like Don Draper and James Bond blithely consume drink after drink with seemingly no effect on their enviable abdomens. The truth is that a cocktail can pack just as many calories as a doughnut. Still, not all tipples are equally bad for you—a few aren't much worse than, say, a piece of fruit (hint: Your best bet is straight booze on the rocks). Below, we calculated the calorie content for 20 common cocktails—from the diet-friendly Sazerac to the fun-but-fattening mai tai. Using standard drinks recipes employed by New York City cocktail bars, we broke down the calories per spirit, fruit juice, and liqueur and crunched the numbers. It just might be enough to sober you up.

Sazerac (140 calories)
Like the Old-Fashioned, this New Orleans classic was one of the first in the history books. The herbal anise flavor of ruby-red Peychaud bitters plays off a Pernod rinse, texturing the sweetened rye whiskey, while a twist of a discarded lemon peel leaves a tantalizing aroma. It's the least fattening of the cocktails we examined.

French 75 (141 calories)
A brisk, sharp cocktail, this Jazz Age standard tops off lemon, gin, and sugar with a dram of fizzing champagne for a celebration in a glass. The bubbles bring alcohol to the bloodstream fast, but it's still a low-cal option.

Old-Fashioned (151 calories)
The granddaddy of cocktails, it remains one of the all-time favorites of serious sippers. A touch of demerara sugar and a few dashes of bitters (can't go wrong with Angostura and orange) serve to cut the burn and highlight the sweet, oaky nature of bourbon.

Caipirinha (152 calories)
Brazil's national drink beguiles American palates with its base of cachaca, a sugarcane spirit that can give off a whiff of petroleum. Add a couple of muddled limes and a splash of simple syrup and you have a complex, worthy competitor to the daiquiri. No wonder Brazilians look so good.

Mojito (161 calories)
There's a reason the Cuban import remains so popular: Muddled mint leaves add a cool, menthol hint to a stimulating combo of white rum, lime, and sugar. The lesson here: Mint is a great low-cal flavor booster.

Daiquiri (163 calories)
Bastardized over the years by tropical fruits and blenders, the original daiquiri—just rum, lime juice, and sugar—was a manly drink favored by Hemingway and naval officers. Note: If you drink a giant frozen daiquiri in a Slurpee cup, you will be drinking way more than 163 calories.

Bloody Mary (168 calories)
The stalwart brunch cocktail is perhaps still the best savory, vegetal one out there—vodka stays out of the way, simply bringing proof to the party of succulent tomato juice, malty Worcestershire sauce, a dash of bright lime juice, and the heat of a little Tabasco and pepper. The problem with this one, though, is that you rarely drink just one.

Gin Gimlet (174 calories)
Made with Rose's Lime Juice, it can be sickeningly sweet—but gin, a little sugar, and freshly squeezed lime juice give the classic midcentury drink a crisp, memorable bite. (It was good enough for Philip Marlowe, who knew a thing or two about drinking.) Note that it's also less caloric than its cousins, the gin fizz, the gin and tonic, and the gin martini.

Whiskey Sour (178 calories)
The classic sour-style cocktail (booze, sugar, citrus), this rounded, brown-spirit drink never ceases to amaze with how much flavor it can coax out of bourbon, lemon juice, and simple syrup.

Jack Rose (182 calories)
Bonded applejack packs a mean punch at 100 proof, but you'd never know it from this elegant drink, which disguises the brawny spirit behind lime juice and the candied sweetness of grenadine.